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Published in The Daily Gleaner September 22, 2007 |
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Unquenchable thirst for knowledge | Published September 22nd, 2007
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Our job on the planet is to learn who we are. Mistakes simply help to
redirect us.
"As we become more and more whole, we become more and more useful,"
she says.
"If you're doing a job you don't like and that doesn't suit you and isn't about
your own talents, then you aren't useful. You're just putting in time."
Downton began her career path working as a journalist.
"One thread that has gone through my life is people and wanting to know
why they make the choices that they do."
She believes that life offers unlimited chances to learn.
"Your ticket to student status is being born. And you stop learning when you
get your ticket out. There is no moment when you have mastered life."
In 1990, following her time as a journalist, she went to work with the
Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) in Kenya.
"I was assigned to a small village on the shores of Lake Victoria. That
basically blew my mind for the next 10 years, just understanding that I
didn't understand anything."
All her western ideas went out the window while she was there. She believes
that year was great for her humility.
"We westerners have a false sense of place in the world. It's mistaken
because it's just an accident of birth."
She spent a year with people who were just as nice, who were just as
beautiful and their children were dying of malnutrition.
"It shook up my idea that things all work out. Sometimes things don't work
out. There I learned that life isn't fair."
Because of this, she spent the next 10 years looking for a spiritual
philosophy to hold that knowledge.
"A lot of our western attempts at spirituality right now are Love Boat
spirituality. Get on, pay your ticket and if you're a nice boy or girl then God
will get you what you want."
The idea is that if you work hard enough at what you want, you will be
rewarded.
"It's want-based. The eastern philosophies aren't about that at all. They
come right down to that we don't control what happens to us most of the
time in life, but we can control our response."
The eastern philosophies focus on developing strengths in the face of
obstacles, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
"The yoga spirituality spoke to me because it's like giving someone a
handbook where there are some rules and that appealed to me."
When she returned from Kenya in 1991, Downton says she was upside down
for a while.
She took two more CIDA contracts, travelling back and forth between
Canada and overseas while trying to answer some of the questions that had
been stirred up in her.
"At that time I was headed towards a career in community development and
was doing a masters in adult education," she says. "It was a time of figuring
out what was important."
She went to the World Conference on Women in Beijing, China in 1995. This
brought together 40,000 women from around the world.
"It was completely amazing. ... The women of the south had such a strong
message for the women of the north. Basically, they said it's your economics,
it's your lifestyle and it's the way you're doing life that's making our lives so
hard. ... If you could go home and fix your backyard, our children would
have a future."
Downton decided to return to Canada and went to Quebec to teach.
"I wanted to learn French, I loved the region and I needed time to integrate
after a decade of movement."
It was during her time here that she burnt out, she says. This marked the
beginning of her yoga quest.
"After three years, I got really sick. I didn't know how sick I was getting until
I was hospitalized."
She had ulcerated colitis. This shook her sense of immortality. She wanted
to find a way to live her life that would keep all of her pieces intact,
honouring her body, mind and spirit.
"At that moment, as so often happens, life put the perfect opportunity in my
path."
She had been taking yoga for a couple of years and had the chance to take a
workshop from Claude Marechal, who became her Viniyoga teacher.
"I never saw myself as a yoga teacher. I'm not very co-ordinated, I'm not
good at sports, I tend to be very intellectual."
Viniyoga is a good fit for her as it is a study of the life philosophy of yoga.
Body is an important part of it, but it's not more important than
understanding the overall spirituality.
"I studied for the next three years with him," she says. That was the basic
training. It took five years for her to become a master teacher.
"I liked its emphasis on the fact that we're all just human beings at some
place on our journeys. It's not where you are right now that counts, it's
where you want to go from here."
Downton admits she has had her share of challenges, which she believes
helps clients relate to her.
"There we are together just trying to figure out how to do this thing called
life in the most graceful way possible."
Downtown had never planned to live in Fredericton. She came here for a six
day visit, then couldn't leave. Literally. Her car kept breaking down. She
kept meeting people and being offered jobs. And then she realized that this
is where she was supposed to be.
She opened Lifesong Yoga and made it into a wellness centre.
As when she knew she had to open a business here, she also knew when it
was time for a change.
"Last year I turned 41 and it was my classic mid-life crisis. I left a
relationship. I was beginning to enjoy my work a lot less. I was gaining
weight."
Downton says she went into a major depression, though she was still
functioning and still teaching.
She was burning out and viewed the depression as a chance to undergo a
major life review.
"I've always found that if I haven't made the decision myself, then life will
make it for me," she says.
That's when she received notice that her lease wasn't being renewed.
"The moment I decided to move home (to Marysville) the depression
lifted ... and I started to lose weight. It was literally like lightening up."
She told everyone she was in need of transition.
"This coming year, one of the ways I can respect my wholeness is to give
back and the yoga teacher training is one way I can give back. It's a promise
I made to my own teacher over the last five years and I was never able to
pull it off while I was doing the big centre."
She's really excited about this new venture. She'll do the training a weekend
a month over the next nine months, beginning Sept. 28. She's still doing
private consultations and in January plans to resume some classes, though
not as intensely as before.
"I'm looking forward to inviting people to this space. When I saw this
property, I thought 'retreat' and that's what I'd like to offer people here."
Downton is passionate about giving back, such as the work she is doing to
help preserve the University of New Brunswick woodlot.
"For me, it's about coming out in the world as a powerful presence, as a
powerful opportunity for change."
On a personal level, Downton is trying something new as well.
"I've recently gone on Lavalife and I am so excited about it. ... I still believe
in soulmates, so I'm out there with my profile, figuring out how to chat."
To relax, Downton enjoys taking walks with her two dogs, Roy and Bella.
She says she's a fiction addict and likes movies.
"I love the fact that I have my evenings again," she says. "In my own mind,
I'm going to be going to the Monday night film series, I might sign up for
Spanish, I'm going to go kayaking until it freezes over."
Downton notes that her depression gave her the opportunity to do some
internal housecleaning.
"If you really want to clean out your closet, you throw everything out of it,
then you put it carefully back in. And that takes a lot of courage."
Depression forced her to face the big questions.
"I don't know that I'll be a yoga teacher for 10 more years. I'm in transition.
I'm a really good entrepreneur, I'm a very good director. Whatever I do has
to be about learning, it has to be about people trying to do life better."
Her next career move may well be to working with the environment.
"I'm looking for a job that says 'visionary wanted.'"
She has no regrets for the path her life has taken so far and is looking
forward to what comes next.
"If life is a classroom, then we've got lots of time to figure it out," says
Downton.
"Slow down and be patient with yourself and trust that we're part of
something bigger. In the end, that bigger is also what supports us."
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